Kindergarten sweethearts marry 20 years later: Matt declared that he loved Laura so much because her head was actually twice the weight and volume of his own which is a real turn on for him. He doesn’t mind the absurd heft of his own head because his giant ears help maintain a certain amount of buoyancy when the barometric pressure is low. Matt stated, “It’s a phenomena because though the weight and volume of my head is twice hers the average radius is only 50% more!!” He also added, “With my giant head not only do I look as cute as a bugs ear but I can do all the cyphering I want to figure out math problems like this!”
My personal thanks to everyone who showed up Friday night and made the evening insanely special !!! If I could wish anything it would be that I recognized everyone who was there because I know people desperately wanted me to do so and they desperately tried to have me recognize them. I know it pleases people when I spot them. I would love to please everyone like that. If it’s any consolation I didn’t piece together two of my next door neighbors until I was almost home or the gal who successfully sued me for a quarter mil despite the fact that she was sitting right at my table.
There’s a piece of me that says…who am I to deserve this type of attention and would rather hide in the rafters than come out and play with everyone…I’m glad I get dragged out to spend this kind of time with all of you.
The band was as awesome as awesome could be and were really sweet to me when they noticed I was there or went up to them…it was a lot of warmth! It’s nice to be out of those early really unsure days and into something that resembles a more natural place and less fear and desperation.
I think we’ve all done some great stuff in this world. Someone told me years ago that there’d be a great turn around in this world and we’d enjoy a thousand years of peace. I think we’re off to a rousing start.
I miserated on any open seats in the place and thought…if people only understood who these people are and what they can do and what an experience of a lifetime they’re missing so thanks to everyone in the band and everyone who pulled this together.
When I started doing this work I discovered that Elvis and Amy were still alive and I knew that somewhere in this vast world there were concerts going on with some of the greatest musicians/singers of all time that were have supposed to have passed and I desperately wanted to go to one of these concerts and see and hear these greats and now I have! What a treat!!!
And of course thanks to Ron the greatest friend and director a guy could ever want. In some way I think we’re cut from the same piece of cloth, and on the same road, on the same mission, led by some great cosmic force, which is why we haven’t killed each other yet despite the fact that we’ve both tried, and yet we continue to fight side by side sword in hand. I now see there is a god who does meter out justice and sets the world in balance again there’s no other explanation for what has gone on here.
Early on The Howard’s did spend some pretty good effort trying to get rid of me. I believe they felt I was an unknown quantity and had already gotten too close to their kids which is a tribute to the girls powerfulness and some of the female elders of the family. I also had sight and the ability to know things I shouldn’t. The Howard’s were assigned with getting me out of my JCC where I had identified that the place was being used as a training facility for FBI and other federal agencies and none of the money that was being paid by the Feds wound up in the JCC coffers…all of it was skimmed by a bunch of well trusted and greedy members/attorneys. They’ve been trying to get me thrown out of the gym for ten years doing everything under the sun to smear my name: including all sorts of false accusations and dirty tricks. They finally succeeded a few weeks ago which signaled the start of: “The Battle of the FBI” (some people call it; “The Battle Against the FBI”). It’s a battle of significance, like that at Jade Helm, Far and Wide, Hitler and Agnew (still sorry about the last one). So the battle continues until now with roughly 4800 souls sent to their next incarnation upon the marching orders of a low level administrator. Some of Ron and Cheryl’s daughters worked hard at harassing me including laying on the floor in front of me and writhing which I wasn’t interested in. One of the lady staff who I later connected with on a heart felt level was instructed, which she did, to put on a Micky Mouse wife-beater and point her significant tits at me, possibly the creepiest thing anyone’s done to me there. She did it on a few occasions as a not so disguised threat against me. I had complained that the staff there were wearing gym uniforms of black and an off-red color which I said would be perfect if Adolf Hitler were to wander around the facility, as it turned out…he was! When I saw Walt there he looked to me like he was about 90 years old but in great shape for a ninety year old except he had two giant external hearing aides. I didn’t piece together who he was at the time but he struck me as just a really nasty business man. So anyway, Ron’s girls spent some time sexually harassing me but the culmination was when Lady Gaga was assigned to do Jumping Jacks up on the second floor track. I could jog past her. I couldn’t jog past her because if you’ve seen her without her shirt on in one of her many roles she has absolutely the most magnificent breasts on the planet…bar none! They are absolutely breath taking and in the past when I was studying her I could ID her in other roles by how beautiful her breasts were. One of the their other daughters was assigned to cut me to shreds in a nearby park while on some swings while a local deceptive was “supervising”. If I got close enough he would have been out of his mind pulling her off me while she repeatedly sliced me to pieces. They would have told some kind of story like, “He went over to her and propositioned her and she was only thirteen and then he pulled a knife on her which she wrestled away and managed to stop his attack on her. BTW, I’m good friends with her now and she really didn’t know that was me. She is also extremely beautiful and passionate as are all of their ladies. I’m sure the guys are hot too…just not my thing.
Anyway the Howard’s do super secret things that no one is supposed to know about like play Barack and his wife so they really couldn’t have me around. One thursday they were going to a premiere of a movie of Ron’s and I saw Ron preening in a mirror in a tuxedo. He was straightening his bow tie. I asked one of the girls if her dad was wearing a tuxedo. She said yes, so Ron came up and asked me how I knew he was wearing a tux and I said, “The bow tie is a giveaway.” The didn’t realize the extent of my sight and Ron and Cheryl went to the theater. While in the theater Ron turned to Cheryl and asked her, “How did Ed know I was wearing a tux?” and Cheryl, one of the funniest ladies you could meet as are the other Howard ladies said to Ron, “The bow tie is a giveaway.” Hysterically funny!! Of course I was not supposed to see any of this or hear it but when you have the eyes of Laura Mars this is just what happens but they couldn’t have me there. The issue wasn’t just second sight, I could also figure things out. Cheryl is a prolific writer and I figured out she was J. K. Rowling which was a big find for me because I never believed the BS about JK being impoverished or homeless or whatever she was and I had found JD Salinger and some other authors so I knew she had to be someone else. I also figured out that she had written other science fiction books like “Divergent” but here’s where things got ugly…I figured out that she had written “Diary of a Wimpy Kid,” which I never should have been able to. It was out of her genre and out in left field. This stunned them and they asked me how I knew that and I wouldn’t tell them. It actually wasn’t so hard once I figured she was JK, and authored Divergent and I think I knew Maze Runner as well, I won’t reveal how I knew those but here’s how I got “Diary”. When you search on Google it uses an algorithm, which ranks not just most popular searches but who you search next. Often who you just searched and who you search next are related. I’ve found some missing people and some ugly people doing this. Here when I searched for the author of Divergent I found laying right between Jk Rowling and Divergent Author on the top of the page the author of Diary of a wimpy kid. Some people know these are the same writers and look for them sequentially or possibly the same books appeal to the same crowd, in any case the three series of books sat together. I didn’t figure this out about google, I got it from my mentor…the other guy or the other Ed! Ron and Cheryl were disturbed that I figured this out and I wouldn’t tell them. Sadly I don’t do this but they have which is keep track of every page on the internet I go to and I watched them as they saw the page I looked at with the three books series on the top heading and the jig was up!! Now they knew my secret!
So soon after Cheryl said to me, “We figured out how you do things so we don’t need you anymore…so goodbye Ed! Take care!” Now I was really connected with the gals and frankly having one of the best times of life hanging in the Howard basement so I decided it was worth giving it a fight. So I threatened Cheryl. I had found a nude picture of her from a Pirelli calendar which they knew about, no big deal, so what was the threat? I pulled up the photo and told her I was going to pleasure myself every day to the picture and “oh wow…is that a whip you’re holding in your hand? Ithought it was a golf club!!” “Look how hot you look!! I may start pleasuring myself right now!!” Now I didn’t threaten to expose her or publish the photos or extort her…none of that! I threatened to masturbate to her photo wearing a black leather corset, black boots, holding a whip and nothing else and this really freaked her out!! Then things went really right! While she was freaked I heard a song in my head and went to youtube and pulled up a copy of it and here is the song…
This was the song that went into Cheryl’s after I told her I was going to take care of myself to her photo. I didn’t realize right away that Cheryl was Dolly Parton, it was still really early in the game and this would have been a big find but less that a minute of so later I realized what I had…Cheryl Howard was Dolly Parton!!! She had already left the computer to go talk with Ron about this and report Ed figured this out without the benefit of researching Google, he just put it out there. This was really cool on a number of levels since I love Dolly (and who doesn’t!) but it tied into a lot of other things which helped make my work easy plus did I mention I love Dolly!!!
So the Howard’s decided I was there to stay (I think, they did try a couple other ploys but I can’t remember the time course) and of course he was offered a quarter billion dollars to have one his daughters tie me up and murder me which would have been really traumatic for the girl so I insisted that if she was going to have to do this she should do it slowly and painfully. Telling her this seemed to have a healing effect kind of like making it more over the top and like I was a willing participant like…ok I’ll let you do but only if you do it like this…it didn’t hurt that we were etherically making love at the time which was very nice because she is emotionally very powerful! She’s the kind of person who can inspire you to do things that at a minimum are improbable and at a maximum seemingly not possible.
Ok I’m done…who wants to see that photo of Cheryl?!!!
People are asking if Adolf Hitler was actually walking around there. The answer is uncategorically yes! It was him! He lived until about 115 years old. I’ve gone through some stuff in the past about life extension and I don’t want to belabor it while I’m setting up for the picture of cheryl…btw she’s also wearing back stockings, and it’s not really a corset cause it has the bottom attached so I don’t know what’s it called.
Also, I now resent anyone including Cheryl who gave me grief about saying “Num…num…num…num…num!” when Jack Lemmon did “Under the Yum Yum Tree,”!!!! Hippocrates!
Ok…here it is…in all of Cheryl’s glory!!!
Isn’t it everything I said…and more!!! num num num yum yum yum yum!!!!
I’m in my hotel room letting the ducks nibble on my butt (can’t figure how they got in here) and decided it was time to check if Ron Howard was Bobby Fischer. Haven’t figured this one out yet either way but I was discussing Ron’s proclivity with chess and I decided to go look for him as a chess master. Ron plays life like chess and generally wins against me and then I have to live my life miserably because even if I won I would not win what was promised just like in quintet when jack lemmon says what do i win and the guy with the mustache says you get to live, that was kind of fucked. But I remembered Bobby Fischer who would be perfect for Ron as this was the chess match to end all chess matches and was televised and made godless of fabulous moolah. He even lost the first couple games because he wouldn’t show up because of money…so I’m going to go straight out of the box and say I’m at 80% sure it’s him. Let’s look at some photos:
also very difficult to win against Ron because he has super computers, japanese devices and every other gadget under the sun for his genius mind to work with so there’s only a couple ways to win but I won’t reveal them now because the ducks keep nibbling at my choice morsels.
As I recall Fischer played Boris Spassky so I decided to reference the episode of Mayberry where the Russian diplomats stay at Aunt Bea’s house and raid the icebox at midnight and settle a major diplomatic boondoggle without killing a single Yid. It was a most ripping victory!
It’s clear Boris Spassky’s make up was done by the same people who did Dr. Zira’s from the first planet of the Apes movie…you know…the good one!!!
How did I come on Jack Lemmon? This is probably George Bush but how did I come on this? I was watching one of the great scenes in Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid, the knife fight! I was on my third or fourth watch when I realized that Paul Newman sounded exactly like Jack Lemmon. Let’s have a watch and listen. Close your eyes and listen carefully. If you really don’t know what these guys sound like then go fuck yourself for being so doggan young!
Besides a cute tush he has massive damage to his ham strings on both legs lower aspect right above the word Walter. Also scars on calf muscles.
I went looking for Paul Newman naked and found Tennessee Williams naked which I never expected but he has similar scarring.
Now we’re going to go for the money shot here. If I’m right I answer about 1000 questions i’ve long had and will soon have….stay with me this is likely to be brilliant. I know a few things about the Chairman of the Board and I’ve seen him with his shirt off. Lets see if there’s a match.
From FB: Here is Old Blue Eyes sans shirt. Notice, bilateral wrist damage but more importantly virtually identical chest into abdo scarring. We can see virtually identical right wrist scarring between Frank Sinatra and Paul Newman…this is the same man who turns out to be George W. Bush. It also explains a boat load of things for me. From here I’ll pick up a hundred other people he is. Now I hope you’re all sensitive to the fact that I post top-secret info…but who’s going to believe me? The last piece doesn’t get published here…it goes to another blog.
So here’s the question I finally answered. Why does George W always hang at The Howard Ranch? …because he’s Rance Howard…father of Ron Howard, Clint Howard and Billy Mummy, and probably a bunch of others.
but this hole went far and wide and those 1000 questions have just shown up on my door step and I must ask them to return for another time. Good night all! But first I’m left with a burning question which holds a confirmation in it’s hand…let’s look at Peter Sellers…
Right wrist scarring and hair covering up area of lower chest and upper abdomen. We’re on the right track.
Severe scarring of right inner thigh of magnitude of other scars on Jack Lemmon.
And we’ll call it a day, I reviewed a few other more minor scars and we have matches so we have two things here…1) George W. Bush is also Peter Sellers with George also being Liberace you have ostensibly one of the greatest actors/musicians/dancers (I’ve seen him dance) of all time.
And the last piece tonite is who else would play Peter Sellers son in the Magic Christian other than his real life son!
So who is the black guy? Who are the others? I went up to the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck NY a few weeks ago. If you’ve never gone it’s worth the trip. Classes to challenge and enhance your life. I seemingly get there and get dicked around but it’s good for me to take my licks. It also helps me discern the various groups targeting me for team stalking: the local constabulary, the federales, and some guy with a knot on his head who looked like Zippy the Pinhead with his pals. Then there was a group of gals one of whom liked my pushback when I went for a massage and they cancelled my masseuse and sent up Zippy to give me a massage…not happening!!! She went home popped some pills and fantasized about me but that was last visit. This visit still too fresh in my bleeding heart to discuss except that I avoided Lyme Disease (I think), had a horrible case of sciatica, took ungodly amounts of Motrin and these guys showed up Saturday night, blew me away and made it all worthwhile. I held off on posting this until now because I saw British Invasion just before them and this would be too unbelievable. The white guy I ID’ed is Uncle Junior from the Sopranos…more to come on him in a bit. The black guy is “Stevland Hardaway Judkins” or as he’s better known……..Stevie Wonder!!!!
Ed BaruchLast point about Zippy…they went to ask him about me and the Team Stalking. He told them, “Oh, that guy was crazy!” The person making the inquiry replied, “We don’t think so.” He enjoyed my cover letter so much (it was brilliant) that he framed it…that was really cool!