Kiki Presents: Klint (Clint) and Melanie Howard

Lot’s of people showed up in my office. I had warned my staff there would be curiosity seekers. I identified none of them though I heard “Little Miss Sunshine” in my head when I met with her and said someone looked like Christie Brinkley and she made me dizzy. I went steady with her for about two years…OK…it was actually a Sports Illustrated magazine with her in it that I went steady with but it was a nice relationship none the less.

I was fairly certain of all the people, if no one else, I would pick Clint Howard out. Wrong! Nope! Not even close! OK so how did I get here today?

I started watching “Phantasm” my favorite horror flick though I didn’t see it in the theaters. Great story, some horror, some science fiction, super characters, weapons, elvis and Reggie. We’ll come back to Elvis later. On the screen Clint Howard may be easy to ID but usually not. He is another true Master of Disguise however they left enough of him as is to make the ID. “This is Tranya…I hope you relish it as much as I.”

In the film Reggie Bannister near the end picks up a guitar and starts playing a song which is really difficult to hear but I make it out as “Uncle John’s Band”. A clue!! I’m a big fan of the Grateful Dead but some of the details get lost on me so I went to see who wrote it… Robert Hunter! I went to see what Robert Hunter looked like…Yahtzee!! Looked like Clint Howard!

Reggie Bannister from Phantasm aka Clint Howard

In the film Reggie Bannister near the end picks up a guitar and starts playing a song which is really difficult to hear but I make it out as “Uncle John’s Band”. A clue!! I’m a big fan of the Grateful Dead but some of the details get lost on me so I went to see who wrote it… Robert Hunter! I went to see what Robert Hunter looked like…Yahtzee!! Looked like Clint Howard! It looks like Clint wrote “Uncle John’s Band”!

This article parallels my opinion regarding Robert Hunter and his work. Here is the link and the first two paragraphs.

Behind The Song: The Grateful Dead, “Ripple”

As a result of their well-deserved reputation as the preeminent live act of their era, it’s understandable that the studio recordings of The Grateful Dead can be somewhat overshadowed. Along those same lines, the songwriting prowess of the band, which often boiled down to the music of Jerry Garcia and the lyrics of Robert Hunter, doesn’t always get the credit it deserves.

 Yet in 1970, the Dead released a pair of studio albums within months of each other that seemed to both capture the unease of an entire generation unmoored from their ideals and act as a balm to soothe those disappointments. Workingman’s Dead was quickly followed by American Beauty, and from that latter album came “Ripple,” perhaps the quintessence of both the band’s delicate studio magic and the Garcia/Hunter partnership.

How do I know that Clint Howard wrote this song and not Ron Howard? (Ron Howard is Phil Lesh). Ron writes a lot of music but he can’t write everything that’s out there. I saw Robert Hunter do an interview about three songs he wrote while he was in England. Now Clint is a premium actor and could have faked the interview but I found it really authentic and he welled with emotion when he talked about getting to England which he was really excited about and with it having a full case or two of Retsina. He then penned down these three songs. If this is the truth then Clint Howard wrote most of the songs off my favorite album of all time, “American Beauty” by “The Grateful Dead” and my favorite song, “Ripple”. I wore out my first copy of it and still gifted it to someone I loved, ironically also named… Robert! It is a truly beautiful and spiritual album that is unsurpassed though there is ton’s of great Dead music out there.

The theme for Clint Howard in terms of appearance is receding hair line. You don’t see him shirtless much and Ron shows up shirtless half the time and fully naked the other half in his characters. I think I once saw him with his clothes on!!! LOL!

Below is the classic tracheotomy of a Howard. I’m pretty sure a lot of these are from motor vehicle accidents but I have a theory that life extension has gotten so advanced that the Howards change their internal organs once every 15 or so years. Why they can’t change their necks as well I don’t know but I think they’re only replaced as need be but happy and willing clones who don’t really get that they’re about to be used for spare parts.

Clint Howard…Remember you can’t be a Howard without a Tracheotomy aka V-Neck or Neck Vagina and what a loverly Neck Vagina Clint has! Remember no two scars are identical.

So we have members of the Grateful Dead from the Howard Family and after looking for him for ten years I believe I found Jerry Garcia, alive and well! I asked Ron once who acknowledged he was alive but not much else. I think I also have Paul McCartney leaving me only John Lennon to find, and Dustin Hoffman and Richard Dreyfus and Sonny Bono. I’ve been looking for these three for a while and I’ll post them soon. I think I have Graham Nash as well.

So the king of receding hairlines has to be David Crosby of Crosby, Stills and Nash.  Steven Stills is Ron Howard and I probably have Graham Nash for tomorrow.

Here’s just about my favorite performance from TV. The biggest possible sound you can get out of three acoustic guitars with a great tune that could only have been written by Ron Howard because who else can incorporate geography into both his songs and his children!

But that’s not what nailed down for me that David Crosby is Clint Howard. “You’ve seen my razzle… now here’s my dazzle!”-Felix Unger…

A terrific singer named Melissa Etheridge  reportedly had a baby with her lesbian paramour. Now between the two of them neither was able to produce any semen so as the story goes they had to come up with the one person they could think of who’s sperm would produce a great musician. They wouldn’t reveal at first who it was but later on revealed it was David Crosby which was really kind of a big deal elevating David Crosby to stratospheric levels being the modern lesbians choice of sperm donors!!!

I decided it was a good time to see what Melissa Etheridge looked like because if she looked like Clint’s wife, Melanie Howard, which I was pretty sure she did, then David Crosby was in fact Clint Howard. Let’s look at the two:

Melissa Etheridge and David Crosby

oh oh dead end here!!!

Not so sure this is going where I thought it would. Made an error earlier and mistook Linda Blair for his wife. I’m going to leave this dead end for a while so people can see what can go wrong.

Clint Howard and Linda Blair
10th Annual Palm Beach International Film Festival – “Hitters Anonymous” Portraits
Gulfstream Hotel
Palm Beach, Florida United States
April 18, 2005
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Linda Blair looks a bunch like Melissa Etheridge certainly more than Melanie Howard and I’m going to call this a win with Clint Howard nuzzled up to Etheridge. Clint Howard is David Crosby. Also his brother Ron is in the band that should have been enough.

More to come but now…

Some Dance Music!!!!

 

 

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