Kiki’s Kalamaties: Thomas Barrow…The Underbutler!

So I’m wrapping up season 6 of Downton Abbey and Thomas Barrow has just attempted to kill himself.

Rob James-Collier as Thomas Barrow in Downton Abbey
Thomas Barrow’s failed suicide attempt, “I can’t even get that right!!!”
Thomas calls in Harley Quinn of “Suicide Squad” to help with his failed suicide attempt…isn’s she cute!!!!

Not a particularly likable character, Barrow was under the stress of fighting off self loathing and the impending doom of being fired in a downsizing at the Abbey by the hand of Lord Robert Crawley, the 7th Earl of Grantham, usually a much nicer fellow. You can always tell when someone is going to die on the show by absurd holes in the script.

Now if I were Lord Grantham the last person I would ever fire would be Thomas Barrow. I would get rid of everyone else first before I would ever touch Thomas. This would include: Mr. Carson, Mrs. Hughes, Mrs. Patmore, Daisy, Anna and Norman Bates, Mr. Molesley, and all those other nameless souls in service who sit around in the kitchen and are grateful they even get a moment on the screen. I would even get rid of Cora before I got rid of Thomas. Why is that? Because he’s so good-looking? NO! Because he saved Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones? NO!!

Then why???

He ran through a fire and carried Lady Edith out to safety and saved Downton Abbey!!

Thomas Barrow (Rob James-Collier) rescues Lady Edith (Laura Carmichael) from a fire that he himself did not start!!!

Admittedly he happened to be there for scurrilous reasons but who cares. He saved Robert and Cora’s daughter and frankly there aren’t that many of them to go around anymore!!!

I would keep Thomas on at Downton Abbey forever and I wouldn’t even make him work!! He could sit around, eat Heath Bars and Clotted Cream all day. I’d also hire some cute guys for him to lure and satisfy his prurient interests. Frankly if I was Robert I’d blow him myself and then serve him breakfast in bed in the morning.

If he was keen on Conversion Therapy I have him sleep with Ladies Mary, Rose and Edith all together!!! That should cure him…if that’s what he wants.

Michelle Dockery as Lady Mary, Lily James as Lady Rose and Laura Carmichael as Lady Edith.

Cora could assist in the therapy by either watching and instructing or joining it!!!
The yummy Mary Steenburgen in some film that featured her in hot black underwear.

Ed Out

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