All residents of H-wood have returned home after being banished into the desert for less than 48 hours. Many who were upset with what went on reported as such: “That was the worst banishment I’ve ever been to…I barely got a suntan out there let alone dehydrate and have visions!” Another reported, “I only got to wander for about 40 minutes, those Hebrews did it for 40 years….what’s up with that?” A third person stated, “I finally found a staff to use to walk around with but I had to return before I could figure out how to turn it into snakes!”
In fact most of the families actually never left town! They reported, “We knew it was only a couple of disgruntled souls and it wouldn’t last long so we put on our disguises and covered up those littles pieces of rice Ron stuck under our skin with some aluminum foil and hung out at Disneyland for the day. We ran into pretty much everyone there. We had to hide by riding the monorail for part of the day because everyone started laughing so hard when we saw Ron and his wife hanging with his grandkids in the park!”
“Ron had told us that he deactivated the rice monitors years ago but none of us fell for that though we did thank him for it because he likes when we buy his BS.”
Even the Howard girls turned up at Disneyland after they got bored of hanging out in the underground bunkers. They laughed so hard when they saw everyone there that all their eye make-up ran onto their clothes and they had to get cheesy Disney T-Shirts to cover up.
Ron claimed to know what was his kids were up to as well as everyone else. He’s been berating the girls since this blog went up not for going to Disneyland but for having been seen there. Ron was quoted as saying, “We like shady characters here and my daughters are no different” He said that they needed to listen better and called them, “Disgruntled Sluts.” The girls found this deeply embarrassing and in retaliation decided to have sex tomorrow with anyone who would hold a door open for them in North Hollywood, which for them would be pretty much everyone. One of the girls was quoted as saying, “That will teach dad for calling us disgruntled!!!”
One of the Wooders was quoted as saying, “What’s Ron going to do? Not put us in his next film as extras? It’s not like any of us are gong to get starring roles with all those Howards multiplying like rabbits…forget the fact that they’re now producing clones like they’re planning the next Star Wars fiasco where I’ll get to play a Storm Trooper….again…..yipty-do….Blue For Delight!” “You don’t even know who’s a Howard anymore. Ed picks them out off the net like he’s picking bed bugs off the linen of the Motel-6.”
Another was quoted as saying, “We’re used to trying to grab for the carrot at the end of the stick. We’ve actually stopped trying and only make a show of it when Ron comes into the room. We call him Mr. Howard at those times or simply “Sir” which he seems to eat up and then leaves us alone for several months at a time and we go back to playing Bocce in the court we set up behind the linen return center!”
“We’ve had a couple really fun years here where everyone stopped working and turned out pure shit in the theaters just so everyone could hang out and watch Ed tie up and beat his dick like it was being interrogated by cops in the back of a precinct.” “It’s worth living a life void of major accomplishments just to watch stuff like that.”
Ron generously brought everyone back and treated them to lunch and an orgy. The orgy was particularly loving and of an extended nature and is still going on. The nature of the orgy was to extend love throughout the community and give the older people an opportunity to move at a slower pace with their loved ones.
Ron is working out details with some of the disgruntled souls so at a minimum it has the appearance of being equitable on some unreliable scale of confused measurement like the guys from NASA used to crash their Mars Lander into the surface of Mars.
Just the usual Hollywood Shenanigans with or without….Stubby Kay!!!