Ron and Cheryl Howard Part 18: Southpark Continued with George W. Bush, American Hero

So last night after I outed Trey Parker and Matt Stone as Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold and called them schmoes for the Columbine High School Massacre Hoax which I suspect Ron either directed or supervised because who else could have, the two shmoes were asked by Ron to come over to the ranch.

I was pretty beat by then and needed to eat and hit the sack but they sat down to hang out for a bit. If you sit in that room long enough something incredible will happen or be revealed. (Joke: This is in my contract. I’m expected to perform a miracle or a revelation once every lunar eclipse or solar plexus. FYI that’s a joke, I have no contract.)

So they came over and Trey Parker who must suffer from ADD decided to sit next to George Bush who is the esteemed father of one of my clones. George has the patience of a saint and endlessly sits in that room watching “The Ed Show”. The baby likes him, probably loves him and they get along well. Eric decides it’s time to play the dick card and started playing with baby with one hand in his face to distract him while he attempted to steal his baby bottle with the other. The baby became disgruntled and pulled the bottle back and yelled at Trey which I became alerted to, FYI if I miss any part of what went on I can watch it or piece it together later. Also, I had doubts in the beginning whether that was actually Trey and Matt, they showed up a little later I believe, Ron did not want me to leave.  I decided to play back at Trey and had the baby lift his finger and zap Trey with an electrical charge to which he recoiled and jumped backwards out of his charged. He screamed and cursed in response to this and the baby started laughing hysterically!! We did it again and again Trey screamed and jumped and the baby laughed again. This was done one or two more times with the same reactions. George thought it was funny but tried to get the baby to stop but I was really doing it but here’s the problem… one of the things being looked at carefully is…are these babies going to become weaponized like myself and my purloined Royt Malke. Here was the first example of it but in truth I did it though the baby tried after and had a measure of success.

(I have to work on what went on after so I can’t guarantee this part is correct. I believe some people came in and wanted the baby which wasn’t happening but George agreed to have the baby see the doctor tomorrow to be checked out.)

This part should be correct: George took the baby to the doctor who examined the baby for any lesions of the skin showing entry or exit wounds from the electricity. He picked up the baby and looked everywhere including the baby’s bottom. Some of this was done in a theatrical style and probably to distract George a bit. The doctor had a small device on him which fit in his palm. On one end it was a small rubber bladder, on the other side was a naked needle. This was to administer a small amount of sedative to knock the baby out who would then have to stay in the hospital for tests for passing out or could then be kidnapped.

This wasn’t going to happen and the doctor got zapped once, and then a second time and not a baby dose this time, leading him to fall to the ground unconscious. George was nonplussed by this until he saw the device on the floor, which had fallen from the doctor’s hand. He retrieved it from the floor, examined it for a moment, realized what it was and grabbed the baby and ran!! He made sure to grab the device and stick it in his jacket pocket. He didn’t know if the baby had been stuck and did not know what was in the needle but he knew he had to get the baby out of there. He got into a big black reinforced Lincoln Town Car and drove like a crazy man on fire. He weaved in and out of traffic and swerved on the road. He alternated looking at the road and trying to keep an eye on the baby. The baby was in the front passenger seat in only the top of the car seat, the bottom part in the back seat. The baby was not secured in anywhere as George had made a field decision to save that time and use it to get the baby to a doctor he trusted sooner. George didn’t know what was in the needle, if it had been administered, or if he’d have to pull over to do CPR and didn’t want to reach the doctor with a dead baby.  While driving George hit some parked cars and a couple others. He pressed on the baby’s chest to hold him in place and at some point just took him out of his seat and held him close next to him sitting up. The car is reinforced steel and designed to withstand most crashes and small arms fire. George sent orders that he was not to be stopped under any circumstances. He pulled in front of the doctor’s office, left the car as it was, grabbed his son and ran in.

The doctor was very nice and the baby really liked him. The doctor would make faces and pop up from under the table and make the baby laugh. He found the baby alert, responsive and in perfect condition.

George took the baby back to The Ranch and George fed him vanilla ice cream. George ate some too with both a sense of apprehension and some relief and the baby ate his with zest and glee.

Today was a renewal of faith and a declaration of ownership of these beautiful children with these beautiful parents. Babies held high declaring themselves fathers and sons and mother’s and sons and some fathers and daughters and mothers and daughters.

A miniature train which rode around the premises with the parents and children in it has been running nonstop, George in the front car with his son and his Train Engineer hat on. Everyone took turns on the train and more ice cream was eaten….lots more!

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