Teddy Bears returned to their rightful owners…Hollywood joyous!!!

In an unexpected moment of good fortune that could only be described as kismet…

No, not him

…all Teddy Bears were released from their long incarceration and returned to their rightful owners. Children in Hollywood as well as busy studio executives rejoiced as cabinets, safes, and safe-deposit boxes in banks were opened and the Teddies emerged largely unscathed from their long and unprecedented incarceration.

Some executives were seen this morning furiously digging up their back yards to gain theTeddies they had hidden underground because their wives kept giving the Teddies back to their children. The Executives carefully avoided digging up the bodies and illicit gains they had secured there.

A studio executive who asked not to be identified stated, “The bears were initially hidden away so Ed wouldn’t find out about them. How were we to know he already knew?”

Lady Gaga was the first to blow this wide open when she said, “Dad! Ed already knows about this… he just blogged about this in his post about Aunt Mary’s (edit-“Mom’s” 1-10-1017) ugly green dress! By the way…he wants to know if anyone has a picture of her in that dress without her underwear and he also wants to see the photo of Marlon and Wally.”

All Teddy Bears were simultaneously released and sales of Teddy Bears in Los Angeles went through the roof when some Teddies could not be found or had been permanently destroyed in moldy graves. The sad owners were told that, “Teddy must have gone to the farm”.

Little children who’ve never had a Teddy because they were born after “The Great Teddy Bear Ban” were taken to stores by their Grandmothers or Au Peres, their mothers being too busy running the world and doing “some fun stuff” and bought brand new Teddies of their own.

“Star Toys” in Brentwood Village was offering 2 for 1 specials on Bears and 10% off any trade-in of some other transitional object like Mr. Floppy. The trade-ins would be donated to area homeless shelters where grateful residents were quoted as saying, “What the f–k is wrong with white people?”

Attempts to block the egress of Lindsay to the toy stores before she could corner the market on Teddies and sell them at a huge profit failed when she sent off her flying monkeys to just purloin them. Back at her home she arranged the all the Teddies  on the floor in her bedroom and performed an old night club act for them. She then made them sit through a director’s cut of “Mean Girls”. Any Teddy who refused to watch the film was stuck in the closet and told they would not get any dinner. Staff in Lindsay’s house were later grilled by Lindsay saying, “How did Ed find out about the show?” “Which one of you told him?” She then quickly stuck all the Teddies in the closet except for one who she confided to saying, “You’re my bestest friend!” She then made the bear watch her in, “Fully Loaded”  while she teased him by showing him her underwear collection.

Bears sold normally have to be of the same size, shape and color to elimate any appearance of differences in wealth and social class (but really who are we kidding)  however with these unprecedented sales the smaller, standard sized, “classless” bears sold out quickly.

“The Foundation for the Preservation of Transitional Objects” for the first time in history allowed the sale of Teddies of different sizes, colors and shapes to meet this demand with the exception of “Deady Bears”. They were quoted as saying, “We just don’t like the damn things, they’re creepy! We also don’t want anyone to associate our beloved Teddies with the use of lysergic acid.” They added, “Can you also explain to us wtf was Jerry thinking when he made “Blues for Allah”?

Though people were told not to use the Teddies as hostages or for purposes of extortion,  some jewelry stores were open through the night packed with busy studio executives pleading with their wives to, “pick out whatever you want and as much as you want just give me back Teddy!!!” The women were quoted as saying, “Sorry, that’s just how we do things here. We think they got off easy.” Some busy studios executives had to agree to be used in  special ceremonies in order to get their Teddies back.


Teddy Roosevelt, the name sake of Teddy Bears, could not reached for comment however his progeny at the studios responded by saying, “Eff you Ed!”,  “Eff you and we hope you die!”

Have a great day!!!!


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    Winsol is a complement designed to mimic the favored steroids
    which are used for Cutting which are often utilized by bodybuilders.
    Winsol is an anabolic steroid different to Winstrol also referred to as Stanozol.

    Crazybulk’s Legal Oral Steroids Dietary Supplements:

    There are a lot of weightlifters who prefer to get their
    our bodies into form using conventional strategies.
    This methodology by the way is just good quaint train and food regimen.
    There are however some exhausting gainers who really
    feel that train alone will not present them with the physique transformation they’re
    needing. For these people making an attempt authorized steroids is among the many options which should be thought of.
    bodybuilding stacks include free food plan and training regimens.

    These compounds are far more practical than your
    common dietary supplements for muscle constructing (i.e.
    protein or creatine), and yet much safer than methylated prohormones and androgenic steroids.

    Legal steroids have earned an excellent popularity in the
    final decade or so.
    In contrast, legal steroids wouldn’t have any harmful unwanted side effects.
    Almost all legal steroid supplements are
    designed of particular plant compounds that naturally stimulate
    lean muscle growth and other fitness benefits. You might discover that lots of the steroid alternate options merchandise
    marketed for efficacy have names which are very similar to the actual anabolic steroid brand name.
    Increased Protein Synthesis – The holy grail of bodybuilding and
    the fuel that sparks the anabolic build up of muscle in the physique.
    Driven by a rise in nitrogen uptake, several of the components have proven in research to catapult the supply of oxygen,
    nutrients and important amino acids to your muscle tissue.

    Take a look at any supplement bottle or product label and you’ll see athletes who’re juiced to their gills
    with anabolic steroids. Marine Muscle bulking merchandise
    are probably the most potent dietary supplements for muscle and
    bulk gain in the entire United States.
    Legal steroid options can be bought on-line, with no prescription.
    However, anabolic steroids have to be purchased illegally from
    the black market . Estrogen blockers inhibit aromatase
    enzyme’s motion – the enzyme helps turn testosterone to estrogen.
    It’s believed the steroids attach to the liver cells’ receptors, thereby activating the genes
    responsible for cell growth regulation. This leads to unregulated liver cells improvement, inflicting a tumor.
    The impression of steroid utilization on the body’s cardiovascular system
    could be quite severe. Overproduction of RBCs thickens the blood,
    pushing the guts to toil tougher. With time,
    the additional workload may result in coronary heart
    enlargement and an inevitable coronary heart attack.
    Also, steroids improve unhealthy ldl cholesterol blood levels,
    which encourage the growth of fats deposits
    often known as atherosclerotic plaques.
    Crucially, somewhat than subjecting your body to wicked unwanted effects, all four merchandise are made utterly
    naturally. This means that you gained’t undergo any unwell-reactions
    in any way; Bulking Stack is totally protected to
    make use of and received’t trigger any harm in any respect.
    Dianabol/ D-Bal is a strength and muscle agent, the godfather of authorized steroids.
    You merely take this steroid orally and you’ll discover superb
    leads to dimension, confidence and strength.

    This authorized steroid is he most powerful formulation available on the market
    as well as a top vendor.

    Trenorol enhanced your vascularity and provides wonderful bodily conditioning.

    It eliminates the surplus body fat without shedding mass and provides you tremendous stamina and energy.

    During the workouts, this anabolic legal steroid shoots additional
    oxygen to your muscles for further power and superior strength.

    Authorized Steroids One Hundred And One: Which To Make Use Of And Which Not To
    Use (2020 Evaluate)

    Taking care and doing all your research before taking any
    steroid or complement is the key to finest outcomes and
    security. All of these authorized steroids are 20% cheaper when both stacked.
    There are a number of benefits to decide on a legal steroid stack
    instead of a single legal steroids for sale. First of all
    you want multiple bottle to get desired results.

    They may help enhance your testosterone ranges and improve bodily efficiency.
    When the use of steroids was banned as a result of their doubtlessly dangerous unwanted side effects,
    the demand for pure steroid alternate options steadily grew.
    The best pure steroid stack for strength will build your muscle tissue and
    give you lengthy-lasting energy. With more muscle tissue come extra power
    and a greater total physique. By buying the most effective natural steroid stack for bulking,
    you possibly can take pleasure in a minimum of a 20% financial savings from shopping for the supplements
    individually. A safe and natural different to Nitric Oxide boosting steroids, NO2 Max is scientifically formulated
    utilizing probably the most potent potential components. The
    pure and secure to use various steroid boasts of extremely advanced anabolic formulation that helps enhance the production of your purple blood cells considerably.

    The chopping section mainly entails cutting any further fats surrounding the muscle whereas
    still preserving the utmost muscle size. Some legal steroids greatest serve this purpose and we
    will briefly contemplate the best ones in the marketplace.
    If you want a secure and authorized alternative to Sustanon,
    then Testosterone-1 is the right selection for you.
    This product manufactured by Muscle Labs USA incorporates solely pure elements.
    The idea of using legal steroids to construct muscle fast is nothing new.

    However, steroids have been confirmed to cause dangerous unwanted side effects in men, together with lowered sperm rely, irregular sperm manufacturing, and decrease natural testosterone
    manufacturing. Anabolic steroids can also cause
    glucose intolerance, baldness, and zits .

    Thereby they take a special sort of protein supplements,
    anabolic steroids with an ideal food plan however still they don’t seem to be glad
    with the outcome. A natural testosterone stimulating agent that permits your body to feel the required anabolic effects, safely.
    The risk of liver injury is excessive with all steroids, however extra so with
    Tren due to the truth it doesn’t aromatize and
    supplies incredibly pronounced androgenic results. On the other hand,
    alternatives can be made legally and with none of the dangers related to Trenbolone proper.
    This is a problem that may affect your life for many years to come
    DHT might trigger side effects corresponding to hair loss,
    pimples and an enlarged prostate. Testosterone boosters are potent steroid
    hormones different. These boosters include
    components corresponding to Testofen, tribulus terrestris, avena sativa, and
    so on. that help increase manufacturing of testosterone.
    As per most health experts, eurycoma longifolia is the simplest and in style testosterone booster.
    Eurycoma longifolia is a Malaysian herb that
    is often sold as tonics for male efficiency. In some
    people, the drug may enhance anger, aggressiveness and irritability – at occasions
    known as roid rage.

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