News Flash! Thanksgiving restored in Hollywood!! Community elders in conjunction with spiritual advisors have determined in joint session that the celebration of Thanksgiving can proceed and continue in perpetuity. An extensive review of the holiday showed it to be compatible with all major and minor religions. Solemn aspects of the times would be honored on the evening.
Turkeys immediately vanished off the shelves of supermarkets in Hollywood where due to religious differences the product seldom sold. Surrounding communities were inundated by famous actors and actresses looking to buy turkeys and all the fixings. Generous residents brought out their own meals for tomorrow with promises by the actors that they can star in their next hollywood movie with any star or starlit they chose.
Actors prepared for tomorrows feast by eating only salad tonight as they saved their daily allotment of 40 calories for tomorrow.
Fresh turkeys are now the only ones available as frozen sold out quickly, followed by the caged birds, with the free range turkeys holding out as long as they could by running away from frenzied movie moguls.
Homeless shelters stocked with cheap turkey were raided by movie industry workers who used famous actors and actresses as a distraction while they walked out the back door with all the turkeys. “Hey look!!! There’s Scarlett Johansson!!!” “There’s Chris Hemsworth!”
Chicken disappeared soon after Tofurkey followed by all manor of poultry large and small. Street pigeons disappeared next affectionately referred to as “rats with wings” in West Hollywood.
Police finally interceded when the L.A. Zoo reported a missing Snowy Owl and the disappearance of the only American Bald Eagle on the West Coast…film at 11.
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