Author: edbaruch

Billy Mumy is Dustin Hoffman. He is also:  Elton John, Graham Nash, Treat Williams, Al Pacino, Paul McCartney, Jerry Garcia and Christopher Walken.

Another Howard genius!

Billy Mummy is Jerry Garcia!!!

Billy Mumy is Paul McCartney!

After a cataclysmic dump of information regarding Ron Howard the kind not seen since the heyday of Wiki-leaks; exhausted friends, family and able bodied employees pulled an all-nighter reviewing all the information dumped onto net. Cots and mattresses were pulled out and information was carefully studied amidst singing and dancing to as many songs as Ed produced attributed to Ron. It was a crazy frenzied evening, the kind not seen since the last time Ed pulled something nutty out of his hat… or maybe the Russian Roulette Orgy. Quiet music is currently being played and those resting were checked on by staff and family to make sure they were in good health and well hydrated.

Hits of ecstasy had made their way in last night and the frenzied dancing accelerated after that like something out of the Palladium  with an ongoing orgyfest running concurrently.

Ron and Cheryl aka Madonna at the Palladium

Dancers were advised to remain well hydrated and instructed not to slide down the bannisters on their feet or handstand on them like they were on the Verrazano Bridge in the film “Saturday Night Fever”. Ron could not resist the fun and turned some handstands himself pissing himself in the process from staying a little too well hydrated.

Currently Frank Sinatra music, Ron’s father, wafts through the Ranch.

Ron, ever-grateful to Ed, was even more so when Ed released the treasure trove of Ron Howard and then declared that he and Ron were good friends and buried the hatchet for most past indiscretions. Ed was quoted as saying, “Ahhh WTF…I’ve been getting some really good sustained boners and banged the hell out of my old lady for over a half hour not including a couple episodes of oral and some really good spankings! We have to be good friends! We’re practically brothers!” Ed reportedly even attempted to slide into third base head first but was called out.

Things are really happy in Mudville!!!

This also came on the heals of a rousing victory against the G-Man at O in a culmination of a meeting of minds last october… The mindfulness of “O” versus the mindlessness of Ed… a meeting of the mindful vs. the mindless! Guess who won. The emperor penguin got to keep his hot mistress who went home after our confrontation, popped some pills and masterbated thinking of me (the mistress, not the Penquin, though he may have and this was confirmed). She had been psychically saying I’d do a better job with you than any of those gals here. I don’t recall seeing her name on the menu but they would have sent up clarified butter if I ordered her.

It was a most ripping victory!

Things are really happy in Mudville!!!

Just to show you that Ron didn’t just get by on his good looks as Mike Schmidt here’s a few articles about his accomplishments.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_Schmidt

http://baseballhall.org/hof/schmidt-mike

 

 

Look at him!!! Isn’t he beautiful!!! 100% pure Ron Howard wrapped up in a Mike Schmidt uniform!!

Ron Howard aka Mike Schmidt!!!

OK, how did I get this one? I saw Ron on some sort of Network TV show like “Battle of the Network Stars”…or something like that. Grizzly Adams was in the dunk tank. Grizzly must have known what was coming because he didn’t kid around with Ron the way he did with Penny Marshall. Ron smiled, took the baseball and unleashed it in a split second, looked like sidearm to me and almost all wrist and Grizzly was in Davy Jones Locker or is that John Paul Jones… I forget.

I thought at first it would be impossible for Ron to be a major league player because of all the other things he does…silly me. After I got to know him I realized nothing was out of his reach and I had seen him as Roy Scheider answer questions to Stuttering John while playing ball.

Addendum: I checked out my hunch and it’s true…Ron Howard was the person who initiated the idea of having Stuttering John become the announcer for the tonight show with Jay Leno. Howard Stern was angry with John for leaving the show. They gave John something like a  million dollars a year to do this. Ron would have seen and met John repeatedly on the Stern Show, probably dozens of times and you can see below Ron’s very respectful to the smoking lady, reminiscent of him playing that cock-sucker Ed Begley (Mr. 911 Truth) but really does enjoy the interview with John.

Go to 1:22 for the start of the interview:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6DVYw64Fcs

Also, as Woody Allen he caught a well hit pop up and declared it was, “a can of corn.” A perfect metaphor for Woody meaning a relatively easy catch.

OK so I figured he was a major league ball player…how did I find him. I googled red headed baseball players which churned up a lot of players. I then looked for Le Grande Orange which didn’t look like Ron. Then I just happened to find a picture of Mike Schmidt who looked promising but I was out of time so I just jotted his name down in my handy dandy notebook! The rest is history.

This and the last find are really big…Mike Schmidt and James Clavell. I’m proud to call him my friend. I hope I can live up to that without getting murdered in my sleep!

I saw much of the miniseries Shogun by James Clavell with my grandparents. I can’t remember why I didn’t see the end but I loved what I saw and I was a big fan of Richard Chamberlain who was just terrific in the film. I remembered that he and one of the Lords of Japan do a scene where they get drunk together. Richard dispenses with the tiny saki cup and drinks out of a bowl which the Warlord mimics. Chamberlain does a seaworthy dance and a ditty with it which the Warlord insisted on learning.

I remembered that Ron Howard was Richard Chamberlain and Ron would prefer to act in shows written by himself or someone in the inner circle or someone otherwise truly worthy of his talents. A buddy of mine read the book and I remember him saying you needed an axe to get through it because it was so long. He wound up killing himself in medical school in Mexico but I don’t think the two were related.

This book, the dance number, and the miniseries all had the hand of Ron on it though I think at the end of the ditty he should have lifted the Warlord over his head using just hand the way he did in “Staying Alive”!

Correctly, I considered that while Ron could turn out two dozen songs in one day while winding up in the ER as Rod Stewart in the morning, Richard Gere in the afternoon and filming Tim Curry enjoying a nice corn dog in the evening as Robert Mapplethorpe I have never found Ron to be able to write a novel by himself. I doubt that’s completely correct but I’ve found most of the great writing from that pair in terms of novels comes from Cheryl though his kids are very creative and productive as well. I thought Shogun would be more of a book by Ron because of the history involved. Cheryl went through the notes I posted and let me know that Ron wrote Shogun, and probably most of the other books “by” Clavell but Clavell fleshed them out.

Ron has some aspects of ADHD and has trouble with some tasks that might require sustained attention for long periods of time. He does so many things at once that a novel like Shogun would be a very daunting task to undertake by himself. Ron had a head injury and this may explain some of the issues with  focus. He uses “ADHD” to his advantage; if an idea tanks he can move off it really quickly and on to something else with a minimum of mourning period and a notion that he can always come back to it.

Ron wrote James Clavell’s “The First Woman on the Moon” at the age of 5 years old and many other of Clavell’s works with Clavell as his ghost writer or better yet…beard.

Shout out to Ron Howard as Woody Allen in “The Front” where Woody becomes a “beard” during the time of McCarthyism. McCarthyism also shows up in an episode of “Happy Days” where Potsy was blowing Richie and Mrs. C wanted to know why the door was closed. Richie yelled back, “We’re studying McCarthyism!”

I’m afraid it would take me a hundred years to get all these down and give each one the justice it deserves and I’ve been moving toward other people. Remember I never publish everything I have but I’m going to get out as much of Ron as I can so there may be a Part III coming up soon. I’ve enjoyed this and lately following the Rabbit Hole even deeper and further out.

I’m told there’s no way I should know some of this stuff and yet…I do! It also started with a nick-name I can’t remember and then Pookie….the rest just wrote itself!

These are earlier files, same rules apply here, all songs likely written by Ron. If Ron wrote the song he’s likely in the band or wrote the song for someone he likes.

Second list may have duplication from above list