Author: edbaruch

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Hero of the Day: Joe E. Brown… Hero of the Transgender Movement

Hero of the Day:  

Joe E. Brown…Hero of the Transgender Movement

Here Joe E. Brown (Osgoode), our hero of the Transgender or Gender Queer Movement  manages to seduce Jack Lemmon into thinking he’s ignorant of the fact that Jack is a guy. This whole time, however, Joey has been reeling in the man of his dreams. In the end they ride off into the sunset whileJoe E. smiles, Jack is left pondering a life as Mrs. Osgoode and Joey’s “Mama” (who is actually his “Papa”) plans the wedding nuptials. A true first in onscreen Gender Queer romance.

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Julie Andrews and Mary Tyler Moore

Julie Andrews and Mary Tyler Moore rehearsing for Thoroughly Modern Millie 1966

 

Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon in “Some Like it Hot”

 

Julie Andrews and Mary Tyler Moore in “Thoroughly Modern Millie”

 

Great shot of Tony and Jack from “Some Like it Hot”

 

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You Are So Beautiful To Me…

 

You are so beautiful


To me

You are so beautiful

 

 

 

 

 

To me

Can’t you see

You’re everything I hope for


You’re everything I need


You are so beautiful to me

You are so beautiful to me

You are so beautiful


To me


Can’t you see


You’re everything I hope for

You’re every, everything I need


You are so beautiful to me

 

 

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Quiz of the Day: What are “Crummy Buttons”? and What were Mary Tyler Moore’s humanitarian efforts?

What are “Crummy Buttons”?

The first five people to correctly answer this question will receive an autographed pair of my gatkes. Mom has promised not to play so your odds of winning go up dramatically. She in fact has had me sign a pair every year since I could hold a crayon in my hand. Tomorrows quiz of the day will be, “What are the latkes doing in my gatkes?” Good luck everyone!!!!

Answer: Crummy Buttons are… “the candy that looks like a button and tastes like a crumb cake”

http://dickvandykeshow.blogspot.com/2011/06/episode-62-when-bowling-pin-talks.html

Episode 62: When a Bowling Pin Talks, Listen

Richie gives Rob an idea for a great comedy skit — but neglects to tell him he saw it on “The Uncle Spunky Show”.

Food note: Uncle Spunky’s sponsor is Crummy Buttons — “the candy that looks like a button and tastes like a crumb cake”. The universal response of anyone who is offered Crummy Buttons is: “Bleaaghh”.
Mary Tyler Moore
Mary Tyler Moore starred on the Dick Van Dyke Show. She advanced many great humanitarian concerns…
Here Mary Tyler Moore does an anti-smoking ad telling children not to smoke… that is unless they want to look really, really cool!!
Mary worked diligently to advance the cause of  partialists all over the world. Here she created breakthroughs for closet podophiles (possibly a few near sighted pedophiles too.) It’s well known that showing the bottom of feet is considered a grave insult in many countries. Here, Mary not only insults most of these people but also causes them to simultaneously spontaneously emit sans warning; a global triumph for this PG-13 rated Sex Goddess, network television, and kleenex. Photo taken from Wikifeet
Sales of Kohler faucets went through the roof after this photo of Mary was taken. Mary was quoted as saying, “You know… it’s not going to take Fellini to figure this one out.”
Serving humanity, Mary trolled the streets of Minneapolis looking for wayward girls given to a life of depravity. She dressed as a high priced call-girl in order to gain their trust and then return the girls back to their natural born homes where they could be abused by their family members instead of total strangers. Sadly this backfired on her when she discovered there was more money to be made as such than there was in two hit TV series and generally acting like everyone’s mom in “Ordinary People.”
You know somewhere there has to be a photo of Mary sans green undies. Could someone pass it on this way please? It’s in the top drawer of the filing cabinet with the key, sandwiched between the photo of Marlon and Wally and some film about a clown crying. There’s a couple of Teddies locked in there too…crying.
Mary did an ad campaign for PETA appearing nude on the MTM show wearing just a 3/4 Red Fox car coat and fuzzy red slippers. The public took issue with the fact that the slippers were actually the feet of Big Bird taken from Sesame Street and the fur was bought with money from PETA after Mary said she could reanimate the foxes from the skins after she watched the film “Reanimator”. She never returned the coat sticking PETA with the cost and we cannot describe in any detail what happened after she completed the reanimation procedure.

 

 

Here Mary as a fur protestor expresses, “Do you know how many poor animals they had to kill to make that coat???

Hold on… I think I got that one backwards. Switch.

Mary enjoyed doing missionary work with Elvis for the Catholic Church.
Here Elvis resists much of Mary’s missionary work saying he was more of a, “slide into fifth base” sort of guy.

 

 

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Whiner of the Day: Michael John Douglas aka Michael Keaton

Michael Keaton… Whiner par excellence
par ex·cel·lence
ˌpär ˌeksəˈläns/
adjective
adjective: par excellencebetter or more than all others of the same kind.”he has won a reputation for being a designer par excellence”
Keaton has starred in over films and numerous other TV projects and I LOVE HIS STUFF!!!

We’ll leave Birdman out of this for now.

Michael Keaton in Birdman…go see this if you’re a movie critic.

No one put me up to this Michael…

Rotten Tomatoes in Critics Consensus said about Birdman: A thrilling leap forward for director Alejandro González Iñárritu, Birdman is an ambitious technical showcase powered by a layered story and outstanding performances from Michael Keaton and Edward Norton.

I’m not going to belabor this any further because 91% of  critics can’t be wrong no matter how many of them you had to blow… but back to the gist of this story…

Audience score for Birdman would have undoubtedly been much higher if Buster did Birdman… but also if my dead sister did it, but 91% of satisfied critics can’t be wrong. I wish I was a critic so I could be personally satisfied by Michael.

Michael did really great films like Beetlejuice

Keaton in Beetlejuice
PACIFIC HEIGHTS, Michael Keaton, Sally Struthers hold on…sorry… Melanie Griffith…my bad!

Here’s where the whining comes in…

Michael Keaton in Muliplicity

Keaton hits the genetic jackpot or the craziest of luck starring in about 50 good to great films, uhh… 49 films when we pull out Birdman.. why whine about having to put in some extra acting. Waaaaaaa….I hated doing this movie…. waaaaa….I had to do four different parts…..waaa….it was too much work……waaa….waaaa…. waaaa…. I wanted to just sit on the sidelines and pick my testicles… waaa

Keaton in Batman

Waaa it’s too hot in the Batman suit…. Waaaa I can’t throw a punch…. it hurts too much…. waa…waa  waaaaaaa. It’s a good thing Nicholson stepped in to rescue your whiney ass and legitimize you as Batman by being the Joker… waaaaaa

Anyway more Pacific Heights and Beetlejuice and less artsy fartsy crap that no one understands. Also try blowing more of the audience instead of the critics so they can go home satisfied too!’

Nite all!!!

A BEEBEE KEYKEY Production
 

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Hero of the Day: Andrew Garfield

Andrew Garfield star of “Hacksaw Ridge” is our, “Hero of the Day!”

Andrew Garfield, our, “Hero of the Day” besides being a good looking boy is probably best known for three things…

Andrew Garfield Best Known for: One Being one of only seven people to play Spiderman. (This doesn’t include getting injured on  Broadway swinging from one part of the stage to another like some kind of idiot. Your are not “F” ing Spiderman… You’re an idiot in a red suit… grow the “F” up!!! It also does not include the time you got drunk and ran around the house in your underwear, also like an idiot, with a giant letter S painted on your chest because you thought it stood for Spiderman

The Seven Deadly Spidermen are and I can’t believe Dotty Hamill didn’t make the list even though she was Peter Pan:

  1. Danny Seagren, The Electric Company (1974) (for real???? and what of Naomi???)
  2. Nicholas Hammond, The Amazing Spider-ManTV series (1977–1979)
  3. Shinji Todō, (as Takuya Yamashiro), Spider-Man (Toei TV series) (1978-1979)
  4. Hirofumi Koga, (as Spider-Man), Spider-Man (Toei TV series) (1978-1979)
  5. Tobey Maguire, Spider-Man (2002), Spider-Man 2 (2004), Spider-Man 3 (2007)
  6. Andrew Garfield, The Amazing Spider-Man(2012), The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)
  7. Tom Holland, Captain America: Civil War (2016), Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
    Henry William Bangladesh Cavill…notice the S on his chest does not represent Spiderman!! (Hmmm… must go to the same tailor as Spiderman.) Also I looked it up and there are Asian Spidermen… or is it Spidermans??
    George Takei in his award winning role of Peter Parker in Spiderman!

    Andrew Garfield Best know for: Two “Dating” the ever yummy Emma Stone!

    Did I say “ever yummy?” I meant ever scrumptious!!!

    Emma Stone photographed on a warm day in Andrew Garfield’s Trailer during the filming of Spiderman.
    A young Stone filmed in black and white, date unknown. (OK so this is Sharon not Emma. She’s not soshabby either! (DiCaprio has all the luck!)

    Andrew Garfield Best know for: Three Starring in the greatest War Film since Patton… “Hacksaw Ridge!!”

    Hacksaw Ridge starring Andrew Garfield and “From the acclaimed director of Braveheart and the Passion of the Christ.” (At least it wasn’t directed by Gibson!)

    Hacksaw Ridge, directed by, oh wait it was Gibson, is about WWII American Army Medic Desmond T. Doss, who served during the Battle of Okinawa, refuses to kill people, and becomes the first man in American history to receive the Medal of Honor without firing a shot while also sleeping with Emma Stone.

    If you’ve not seen the film… fear not… Andrew does not keep that face on through most of the film. He does however do a terrific job in the film as Doss. He’s perfectly cast in the film by some rich relative who’s probably considered King in some far off land and expects you to treat him like royalty despite the fact that we’re not a monarchy and if we were we’d be run by the Queen of England not him if we aren’t already. He also probably gets offended when people demand respect of Elvis and call him “The King” instead of him. Whether that’s true or not it was an excellent role for him and the film was terrific.

    Hacksaw Ridge is Rated R for “Intense prolonged realistically graphic sequences of war violence including grisly bloody images and of course  that face that Garfield makes.”

    And you know what? It was the most graphic and realistic war film I’ve ever seen! Everyone should see this film in order to deglamorize  war.

    Whoever the next president turns out to be he or she should see this film and be reminded of something called, “The Peace Dividend,” and let’s stay out of war…I mean don’t you guys own the whole world by now?—and all I wanted was California and a few people there…I’m sorry what’s that? Trump won already?…oh… well… never mind!—but go see the film anyway. Sorry Hilly Baby… come by and cuddle with me sometime soon, I’ll comfort you…wink wink.

    George C. Scott in Patton April 2 1970

    The film “Patton” is the bane of Garfield’s existence (next to me). It relegates his film Hacksaw Ridge to the number 2 position of greatest war films of all time.

    George C. continued his type casting as a guy with a helmet and a grim face when he starred in “The Kent State Shooting Hoax.” We’ll look for Garfield to turn up in a shooting hoax as well…it’s a household name.

    George C. Scott, top left corner, in the Kent State Shooting Hoax May 4, 1970. Coincidence… I think not!
    With an All-Star Cast, Scott became enraged thinking he was being upstaged at Kent State until The Steve Miller Band hit the stage. He smoked a bone, grooved out and forgot about any and all pettiness.

    Lonnie shows up in another photo at Kent State wandering around which was sort of perfect for him though he could have played one of the deceased as well for obvious reasons.

We end this post with the kid who turns out to be the coolest kid on the planet… Angelina Jordan… winner of Norway’s Got Talent.

Here she is on The View doing Bart Howard’s, “Fly Me To The Moon” with back up guitarist, Alice Cooper!!! Alice Cooper?!!!!! How the heck did this little gal get Alice to be her back up guitar???????? She must have promised him some nice Lutefisk. Next thing you know she’ll find Old Blue Eyes himself still hanging around someplace and start doing duet’s with him!!!

Nite all!!! Somewhere it’s night!

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What’s great about Norway… Part Ogsa

What’s great about Norway- Part Til:  Ylvs!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0pFNoZFf2aA

Ylvis (Norwegian pronunciation: [‘ylvɪ̯s]) is a Norwegian comedy duo consisting of brothers Vegard and Bård Ylvisåker. They debuted as professional variety artists in 2000 and have since appeared in several countries in variety shows, comedy concerts, television shows, radio shows and music videos. They are currently the hosts of the Norwegian talk show I kveld med Ylvis (Tonight with Ylvis). Their song and music video “The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?)“, written and filmed for the talk show, went viral on YouTube in September 2013, with over 600 million views as of July 2016.[1] They have also released an album called Ylvis: Volume I that is a mixture of ten singles that they wrote in the past.

I think this is them…there are a lot of photos of the Royal Families and I think I nailed down how to find them…
See if anyone in the group looks like Dabney Coleman and you’re probably all set!!! FYI this probably works with Sweden too!! Let’s try it!!!
I think we have a winner!!! The Dabney test works even better for the Swedish than the Norwegians. They also seem to make beautiful babies and a lot of them!! Kungafamiljen/ The Swedish Royal Family
Sollidens Slott juli 2014/ Solliden Palace July 2014

Dabney Coleman on banned episode of Buffalo Bill. Skip ahead a couple minutes to get to the song and the people who are less likely to have come from Norway.  I doubt it was really banned… mostly pretense to get everyone to tune in and watch the show… which we did. I liked it… I was a pretty big fan of Gina Gershon and Joanna “I already own a pet snake so give me the role” Cassidy. (haha I knew it was Geena Davis).

Updated Snake Dance from Zhora (Joanna Cassidy)from Blade Runner. She’s in the film but not this dance.  Why wasn’t a snake dance included in the original film? Harrison Ford refused to do the graphic voice-overs of the dance. When asked about what he thought of the voiceovers in Blade Runner he said, “I hated them! but hey…it’s still the greatest living ever!!!”

Here’s a trailer for the new Blade Runner film coming out soon… Blade Runner 2049. The film was originally to be called.. Chai Runner 2048 and star Deep Roy as Jamal Malik as Dev Patel could not do the film.

Dev Patel originally slated to be in “Chai Runner 2048 which then went to…

Deep Roy but he couldn’t do it either and instead went to…
Harrison Ford and Ryan Gosling in Blade Runner 2049. Harrison said, “Hey I took the Role of Jack Ryan from Alec and I damn sure could take this role from Deep!”                                                                                   In true Hollywood fashion we figure that Gosling is the biochild of Harrison and Harrison will be killed in this sequel because lately that’s what he’s been doing best. Don’t believe me? Go watch Star-Wars #7…A Bridge Too Far. We also anticipate the demise of Harrison in Indiana Jones and Jack Ryan unless Alec Baldwin comes back to recreate the role. 

I’m not permitted to mention Harrison Ford in “Cowboys and Aliens” or Ender’s Game as I was reported by the FBI as walking out of C and A before it was over and fell asleep and didn’t finish watching  Ender’s Game which offended both Harrison Ford and the author of Ender’s Game… Barbra Streisand. Hey guys…this wasn’t exactly Hitler walking out of the Munich Olympics. And I’ll tell you another thing… the last thing Hitler would do is walk out on me. Nite all!!!

 

 

 

 

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Hero of the Day…Norway!!!

Our Hero of the day is… NORWAY!!!!

Why Norway??? Because Angelina Jordan is from Norway!!!! Simply the greatest thing to come out of Norway since Ylvis… OK maybe we need a different standard for comparison but here she is winning Norway’s Got Talent!!!

Wow!!! That was really amazing!!!! I initially thought she came in second but they were just being dramatic!!! First place baby!!!! Mazel Tov Angelina!!!

what a difference a day makes and the difference is……..YOU!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCaDyiqs7Wg

I put a spell on you!!! AWESOME!!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OVtpnpCOKM