The Elusive Beatrice Howard – Page 81

January 12, 2017January 12, 2017

Hero of the Day: Leeloominaï Lekatariba Lamina-Tchaï Ekbat De Sebat

Thanks to all of you for the candles… I’ll be fine!

I tried putting on this outfit once but my moobs hung out over the edges and even the manzier didn’t help much. I finally had to go into Victor’s Secret where they laughed and humiliated me and told me to go home and take it off.

Thank you to all my well wishers lighting candles for me…I think it was for me. This turned out to be a big plus as it led to the first interfaith coupling of the Wiccan Dancers and Chasidic Bottle Dancers. It was a beautiful thing to behold!

Though Orthodox law forbid the Chasidic men from actually dancing together with the ladies the two groups did retire to the back room after the dance and share a nice Matzah Brei and some Tsimmis while they argued about whose star held more power.Dafne Keen then showed up and concluded the argument bysaying that because she was X-23, in X-Men movie, “Logan” she had the most star power. No one wanted to argue with Dafne… with good reason!

January 10, 2017January 30, 2017

Hero of the Day: Margot Robbie as Psychiatrist “Dr Harleen Frances Quinzel”

Margot Robbie…Certifiable nut job had to play down her role as Harley Quinn because no one would believe anyone could be that insane. Type-cast as Harley Quinn in “Suicide Squad” director David Ayer had to continuously tell Robbie “to tone it done”, “give me less” and lighten the F up!

Margot Robbie finally got the message and stopped beating and then stuffing her costars with her Louisville slugger… except for actor/dancer Alex Meraz who said, “I like it… it’s really nice like that.” Not only did Robbie not stop with him but she would also sneak him back to her trailer for some more fun- throughs, kind of like a run through but more fun if you know what I mean.

Actor/Dancer Alex “Please Don’t Stop” Meraz in Suicide Squad… “She beat me like I owed her money!”

Truth stranger than fiction Margot Robbie in fact attempted to murder her own psychiatrist turned boyfriend by driving him off a ninety foot cliff in a Mercedes Benz loaded with her relatives. Margot, after neurosurgery, was noted to say, “Everyone wanted to see me do it and loaded into the car for a first hand look… if they weren’t in there to cushion his fall I might have done him in… plus I should have disabled his air bag!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QP5JBYdrGvk

Before her descent into madness, Dr. Harleen Quinzel was a promising psychiatrist assigned to Arkham Asylum, Gotham’s home for the criminally insane. But after meeting the Joker, the young doctor became obsessed with the crazed criminal’s warped mind.

Jared Leto as “The Joker” in Suicide Squad

Truth stranger than fiction… In real life… Margot Robbie studies to become a Clinical Psychologist.

In between takes of her films Margot studies to become a Clinical Psychologist in order to work with her new main squeeze, another psychiatrist turned boyfriend Dr. Stranger. Here’s Margot studying in between takes.

Margot plucked Dr. Stranger off the floor of a health club for old and sagging Jews where he told her…”I’m too old for you, I’m sick, I have high blood pressure, I’m fat, I’m tired and I smell.” To which she responded, “Did my dad put you up to this?” Being a woman of incredibly discerning taste she pulled out all of her feminine wiles to reel this guy in.

She then trained in a meat packing death camp how to stab him to death as her sister missed her opportunity in Laurel Acres Park, years later telling him, “Was that you?! I didn’t know that was you! Sorry, my bad…I was only supposed to blind you and jab you in the crotch a few times!” Robbie’s father told Robbie that she could have Stranger but only if she killed him first. Psychiatrist turned boyfriend Dr. Stranger interestingly enough trained in the same psychiatry program at Kings County Hospital in Brooklyn NY that her first psychiatrist turned boyfriend did.

Stranger worked feverishly to undo her Borderline Characteristics before she could manage to engage in splitting and cut him into a million tiny little kosher pieces and using him in Chulent.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1x64BXAxDE

In Suicide Squad, Margot Robbie as Harley Quinn sensing opportunity, the Joker manipulated her, driving his therapist so mad that he was able to control her. Harleen fell in love with the villain, broke him out of Arkham and devoted her life to making him happy and spreading his bloody brand of mayhem.

Athletic, agile and dangerously unpredictable in a fight, Harley Quinn is a formidable opponent in her own right. She is willing to do anything in order to further the Clown Prince of Crime’s goals—no matter the cost to anyone else or even herself. Her energetic, affable and animated personality is enough to make almost anyone drop their guard—a mistake that could easily cost them their life. Deranged and psychotic, Harley Quinn is the poster girl for chaos’ terrifying allure.

A Poem For: The World’s Most Powerful Woman

And Most Dangerous Man

They took you to the meat house

To teach you the technique

Because after all

Isn’t he just meat?

With the right hand grab the handle

You give a nice grip

With the left hand you deeply plunge it

To the hilt it will fit.

Grasp one hand over the other

And don’t let it slip

If hand drifts to blade

Your finger it will clip

Don’t worry about his ribs

Or his chest plate I gather

Just plunge it in again

And work up a lather

You do it on ‘go’

Not one, two or three

Or maybe no wind up

Just ‘go’ it will be

And we’ll do it all over

And over again

This guy can’t be trusted

And girl you’re our man

And once more we’ll do it

Til no will of your own

We then control you

With that knife that you’ve hone

And we’ll do it again

Until you’re in tears

And the meat is in pieces

And you’re filled with fears

Then once more we’ll do it

Your eyes are now dry

You’re now sans emotion

The killer is nigh

Your hands they’re all blistered

And you’ve stopped feeling pain

We’ll bandage them up

Ultra clean, washed like rain

See he won’t be the problem

You’ll secure him we’re sure

He’ll do what you tell him

His heart is quite pure

He’ll keep to his word

He won’t try and stop you

He’s never shown an instance

Of once trying to harm you

And he can’t resist you

No, not for one second

Til death do you part

Is the way that he reckoned

Dr. Quinn she could do this

With ice water veins

Without having to think

Or go through such pains

Though he told you to do it

In a way slow and painful

It’s not what we want

And this wont be playful

We like him I’m sure

Not as much as you do

He’s often a pain

And a smart-aleck too

So whatever you do

Don’t look deep in his eyes

Though he asked you to do it

You’ll stop his demise

And whatever you do

Don’t look deep in his heart

Because that’s where he keeps you

And it will tear you apart

Let the knife go deep through him

And aim for his chest

Don’t go for his throat

Avoid his eyes, it’s for the best

Into his heart you will stab him

Over and over again

Let the knife go in deeply

When he’s dead we’ll say when

Each time that you stab him

Will put a hole in your heart

But you’ll still be breathing

His life won’t restart

He’s a tricky one I’m sure

Still breathing he might

Resurrecting his wounds

And planning his flight

So you keep on stabbing

Til nothing is left

Not a heart that is bleeding

Not a soul that’s bereft

You’ll be covered with blood

From your head to your toes

It will splatter your skin

It will seep through your clothes

Then we’ll take you away

And deal with his corpse

On him some will spit

With minds that have warps

And some may take parts

That they consider quite choice

Then we’ll bury what’s left

Of his stinking corpse

Then we’ll give you some pills

And say it’s a dream

This man never happened

We don’t know what you mean

Someone intruded

And we took him down

Merely a drifter

From some other town

And we’ll give you some nightshade

So our nightmare will end

But your nightmare begins

Down a hole it will send

And we’ll call in Doc Beaker

Just to be sure

To confuse you and twist you

Of your mistake he’ll assure

Foolish girl you’re mistaken

But you’re totally hot

You’re mind isn’t working

And I think of you a lot

I’ll give you some drugs

Heed my words that deceive

I do what I’m told

Not that shrink you bereave

Unconscious I’ll check you

To see that you’re hole

Just look what he’s missing

This must have been his goal

Some day you will heal

but that’s not our problem

Our problem began

When you went and found him

And so ends the story of

The World’s Most Powerful Woman and

Most Dangerous Man

I hope it didn’t make you queasy

“What’s the matter,” you ask

You didn’t think we’d make it easy?

Now did you?

Or maybe he lives

This time just a game

To see if you’d do it

Or sully your name

But we’ll do it again

Just to keep you in line

Day after day

Or once a week will be fine

He’ll go along with it

Of this we are sure

You and knife we keep sharp

By doing it on spur

You’ll never know

If it be hoax or be true

Just raise the knife

Each time we go through

And pray that each time

Neither of you has offended

In such a way that

His life becomes ended

Or no deal is cut

Of greater value than him

Because many would have

His miserable life on a whim

In the event we should need you

You could not be soft

You’d kill for us each time

Or your world goes aloft

He’ll lay there quite helpless

Even guide you each time

He knows in this way

That you’ll stay in line

You’ll just have to do it

Or he just can’t stay

Without follow through

You’ll lose him that way

There’s a chance you can keep him

In life by your side

By following direction

Each time that you’re tried

He’ll lie there and pray

Knowing you’re not in control

For direction that’s wise

To save his and her soul

Leeanna Vamp as Harley Quinn Cosplay at it’s best!

January 9, 2017January 9, 2017

Hero of the Day: Oona Laurence!!

Our Hero of the Day is Oona Laurence. Oona was once again voted by The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences as Child Actress most likely to be kidnapped in a starring role. They stated, “Oona shows tremendous intestinal fortitude being repeatedly kidnapped, over and over again, in film after film, time after time.”

Now… on a more serious note… no one wants to see Oona kidnapped any more than I do…did I just say that?? Not what I meant. We just feel that a great actress like Oona is being type-cast into these 2-dimensional roles of actress gets kidnapped, then turns tide on the kidnapper, and wins or not, frankly who can tell. It simply has to stop. We just know that one day Oona will snap and go full 5 pounds of Hard Candy on everyone… until then… enjoy!

Nite all!!!

The above is done for purposes of humor only and it’s really pretty funny… that is of course until the authorities show up at the house and start asking questions… then it becomes hysterically funny!!!!

BTW… the link to Penny Dreadful is underneath the poster. It shares it’s name with the great series found on Netflix also called, “Penny Dreadful.” Why is that? The sloths in Hollywood cannot think of new ideas and have to recycle old ones. That includes names they just used because it might take some effort to come up with a new one. BTW, there’s also a new mouthwash coming out called of all things, “Penny Dreadful”; armpit spray called “Penny Dreadful”; that thing women stick inside themselves once a month…you got it…”Penny Dreadful” and the noise that Chewbacca makes will no longer be “Rrrrrrr-ghghghghgh” but instead “Penny Dreadful”. In fact only one of these is an appropriate name for the product.

Also note: If Timothy Dalton had done this world class acting job 30 years ago he’d still be doing Bond… well… except for that and the Timmy thing… you know… Timmy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Helloooo Timmmmmmy!!!! Timothy!!!! Timothy!!! Yoooo Hooo Timmy!

What’s this? …. nothing to see here… move along!

Thank you to the person or persons responsible for explaining to Oona that offensive is sometimes funny, so that my posts can stay up…get them to work next on the sloths in Hollywood.

Nite…………………………………………………………………………………all

January 8, 2017January 8, 2017

Hero of the Day!!! Asa Butterfield!!

Hero of the Day is Asa Butterfield star of “The Space Between Us”…Here is the trailer

Here’s my advice… skip the trailer… go see the film. It looks good but if you watch the trailer you’ll know the whole film. Kind of a pet peeve of mine like…

Shutter Island starring….

Leonardo DiCaprio

In the film…hold on…that’s not Leonardo… that’s the guy from Walking Dead… Daryl Dixon… anyway they showed all these trailers of Shutter Island then held up the release date and showed them again until you figured out that Leonardo was the missing mental patient and not one of “Hoover’s Boys”. BTW…super great film anyway and you know what? The trailer didn’t spoil the fact that DiCaprio gets a lobotomy in the end. Actually in his brain and not in the end.

Or “Castaway” with Tom Hanks…I went to get the trailer and this person expresses my thoughts perfectly about it…

From Michael Joyce…”Bad trailer since it gave away the whole movie. All trailers are supposed to have suspense to get you pumped for surprises. There are only three things they didn’t give away at least. Wilson floating away at sea, What is in the coffin, and Kelly marrying somebody else. We shouldn’t have been told in the trailer that Tom Hanks makes it off the island safe cause that was stupid but the three things i brought up, the trailer was smart to not show those elements lol.”

Now Michael gets his point across without managing to win a Pulitzer Prize like Roger Ebert.

A Hanks film you simply could not screw up the trailer for is “Forrest Gump” because no one could follow the film anyway…OK just kidding Tom!!!

Gump is one of my favorite films and people in the US followed it just fine…no so much anywhere else… kind of like Seinfeld which played great in about a ten inch radius of NYC but elsewhere…eh.

BTW the actual first line from the book Forrest Gump by Winston Groom is…

I will avoid any further spoilers however you should know that Butch and Sundance get gunned down and George Taylor finds out he’s on the planet earth. Thank you Robotman!

How come all the cool guys get to hang out with each other?

Back to Asa Butterfield…

It looks like he’s playing Spiderman in the film. It’s a plum role after doing a series of great films like Miss Peregrine’s Home For Peculiar Children…I think I stayed there for a while.

Asa is now slated to be in a remake of “Harold and Maude”

Madonna will take up the title role of Maude previously done by Ruth Gordon. FYI… Ruth was an absolute pistol in this film!! Maybe Madonna can also play Ruth Gordon in a remake of Rosemary’s Baby… she probably would have made a great Rosemary about a million years ago!

January 4, 2017January 6, 2017

Quiz of the Day: What do the films, “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” and “Miss Peregrines Home for Peculiar Children” have in common? (At least three answers)

“The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” FYI…I double checked….the woman in the above photo is not Cate Blanchett (thank you Google) and I’m pretty sure that’s not Brad Pitt either!

Answers Below!

First Answer!

Time is made to run backwards in “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” and in…

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, time is made to run backwards as well!

Second Answer:

The clock runs backwards in The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button in an effort to save lives lost during the War (here WWI) and…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQ5h_2iA-As

Though not the scene where time runs backwards we do get to see Miss Peretrine played by Eva Green and her pocket watch with which she runs time backwards also in an effort to save lives during The War (here WWII).

Third Answer:

I cried like a girl in both movies!!!

Jake Gyllenhaal in Southpaw…once again proving you don’t have to be a girl to cry like one!

Congratulations to the only winner…my mom!!! Who saw me cry during both movies and also looked over my shoulder while I wrote this post. If you only got only one or two out of the three…you lost!! Too bad…better luck next time. Try to study harder!!

Nite everyone!!!